Acceptance
by captainbean
Summary: He still kisses the same. Leather jacket or long brown coat. Reminiscing about Nine, accepting Ten. Set between Nine's regeneration and New Earth.
**Disclaimer: I own nothing, just for fun.**

 _Synopsis: He still kisses the same. Leather jacket or long brown coat. Reminiscing about Nine, accepting Ten. Set between Nine's regeneration and New Earth, with the implication that Rose and the Doctor had a few adventures we didn't see._

* * *

 **Acceptance**

* * *

" _It's like… there was this singing. I was at home… no I wasn't, I was in the TARDIS, and there was this light… I can't remember anything else."_

When Rose tells him that first time that she doesn't remember, she's not lying. She was at home and then… nothing. Singing and light and something she can't quite put her finger on. A dream that slips away once you're awake. He's looking at her sadly, like he wants her to tell him… what exactly? If something important happened he'd be telling her now. It's the usual – he's saved the day and now they're off somewhere else.

But then all hell breaks loose. And there's this brand new man with brand new teeth standing in front of her, in her Doctor's leather jacket. And all thoughts of what might have just happened are lost completely as she's forced to come to terms with this stranger.

Ten.

* * *

And she does. It takes some time, a few saving-the-Earth-and-other-planets-adventures, but she gets used to him. Accepts him. Accepts that this is still _her_ Doctor. Same man, different face. Different coat.

It comes back to her in pieces. Blinding light, burning warmth, lips on lips. It's all disconnected and she doesn't know what it means. A memory, a dream, or just wishful thinking?

They're running across a beach, trying to make it to the grassy banks on the other side before the tide comes in, when she stumbles.

"Oof!" There's no time to brace herself, and she finds herself face down in the sand, foot caught in a hidden dune.

"Rose?" he calls from a distance away. "You alright?"

She twists over in the sand, checking everything is still in one piece. "Yeah, fine…" She can feel her cheeks heating up slightly. As he gets closer, she can tell he's grinning and she can't help but smile back.

"Sure?" He asks, hands now thrust in his pockets, eyes twinkling in mischief now he's sure she's not hurt.

"Yeah, you know me, so flipping graceful…" She mumbles, trying to stand, but the sand is making it difficult.

"Come here," he smiles, offering his hand. "I think you need a Doctor."

Her head snaps up, and for some reason she's filled with nerves. Her mouth drops open slightly, she doesn't know why this simple sentence has rattled her. "W-what did you say?"

His smile has vanished too, replaced by worry. Like he's said something he shouldn't have, but she's not quite sure what.

"Nothing… Nothing. Come on, let's get you up. It'll be dark soon, we'll have to get to the town before nightfall. They have the most amazing cheese platters I want to show you, and the legend has it that…" He's changing the subject, talking 120 miles per hour trying to distract her. He may have a new face but she knows his old tricks. She narrows her eyes slightly, allowing herself to be steered along the beach so she doesn't fall again, but she's not really listening.

" _Come here. I think you need a Doctor."_

Why does that mean something to her?

They've almost reached the top of the bank when the clouds shift in the sky, and they're bathed in blinding sunlight. She stops dead in her tracks.

"Rose?" The Doctor is stood in front of her, peering into her eyes, concern flooding his features. "What is it, what's wrong?"

She's breathing heavily. Bright light, those words...

She forces herself to look him in the eye, holding his gaze. "I don't know. I feel like… like déjà vu or somethin' but…" She shakes her head. "I can't remember."

He takes her cheek in the palm of his hand. He suddenly looks sad and she knows there's something he's not telling her. "I think we'd better get you back to the TARDIS." He takes her hand and they head back in the direction they came. He's filling the silence, but her mind is still lost in her thoughts. "Once you've got some rest, I was thinking we might check out New New York. Well, not _New_ New York. It's actually New New New New New New…"

* * *

The second time they kiss, it still isn't really her, but this time she remembers. Cassandra was controlling her, possessing her, but Rose was aware of everything. A silent spectator in her own mind.

She realises something – they've done this before. Different face… but he still kisses the same. Leather jacket or long brown coat.

Once all the drama of New New Earth has passed and they're back in the TARDIS, she has time to process. It's as if the floodgates that locked her memories have opened.

She remembers. She remembers everything. She remembers being at home, looking into the vortex, blinding light, singing filling all her senses…

" _Come here. I think you need a Doctor."_

And then he kissed her. Her leather coat Doctor kissed her, took on the vortex and sacrificed himself to save her. She didn't remember. He never told her.

But kissing her new Doctor, even though not in control of her actions, unlocked her mind. She recalls being aware of the Doctor holding her, his lips on hers. Being one with the TARDIS. Bad Wolf. Suddenly it all makes sense. All those jumbled daydreams, half memories, déjà vu moments.

And he never mentioned it.

"You cheeky bugger." She murmurs to herself, half smiling as realisation washes over her, tears pricking her eyes. She feels it all at once: sadness for her former Doctor, the man who brought her to life. A desperate longing for him, to hug him, to thank him.

"You ok?" Ten asks. They're in the console room, him fiddling with dials, her sitting on a chair, legs perched on the ledge.

Her eyes travel to him across the room. He's poised, mid TARDIS jiggery-pokery, eyebrows raised, waiting to see if she's ok.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Jus' thinking." Her gaze takes him in. This ridiculous, extraordinary man that's saved her life countless times. He's still him. Still her Doctor.

His eyes narrow in good-humoured suspicion. "About what, Rose Tyler?"

There's silence for a beat while she carefully chooses her words. "About… before. Y'know, when you-" She waves her hand in front of her face. "-changed."

His smile falters slightly and she feels a twinge of guilt. He's been trying so hard to make this all easier for her, to make it fun, to reassure her it's still him. "Oh. Right. Ok." He flips a few switches. His voice is an octave higher, false-casual. He's sucking on his teeth and nodding too much. "Good. Good."

She swings her legs down from the ledge and hops off her seat, making her way over to stand beside him. "Don't look so worried," she nudges him, shoulder to shoulder, smiling. "I'm not gonna freak out again."

His shoulders deflate slightly as his visibly relaxes. He turns his head towards her, returning her warm smile. "So what are you thinking about, Rose Tyler?" He nudges her back, shoulder to shoulder.

This time she definitely can't meet his eye. "…you kissed me."

Silence. She looks up and he's wide eyed, mouth opening and closing a few times.

Suddenly he's flustered. "Yes, well… well…"

"Doctor-"

Now he's pacing and running a hand through his hair, all big gestures and not quite meeting her eyes. "Well, ok, I did, but in my defence you did practically attack me, or rather _Cassandra_ attacked me and yes, alright, I may have… _responded_ , but I didn't realise-"

"Doctor-"

"I mean, I did _realise_ and I'm sorry and-"

" _Doctor."_ Rose stands in front of him to force him to stop gesturing wildly, to stand still. To look at her. "I don't mean then."

"Oh. Right. Did you… did you not remember that?" he asks faintly, thinking he's perhaps just embarrassed himself horribly.

"I remember everything Cassandra did when she was in my body." She shrugs. "It… um… made me remember some other stuff as well."

He looks at her in confusion, and she looks right back at him. Eyebrows raised, waiting for the penny to drop.

"Oh. _Ohh_. You… you don't mean then. You mean… before."

He realises. He knows she's remembered.

" _Come here. I think you need a Doctor."_

She gives a little nod. "You never said."

He sighs quietly, and turns away from her, running a hand once again through his already ruffled hair. He turns and rocks on his heel, not able to look at her, not able to _not_ look at her. "I'm sorry. You didn't remember and…" he shrugs. "Even if you did… I didn't know whether you'd think it was still me." He looks at her tentatively.

She reaches out for his hand and squeezes it. "You saved me. I…"

He looks up. She could say it now. She could say everything she's ever felt for him. She looks into the brown eyes that used to be blue and stops herself. It's too soon. She knows, and he knows, and it's all still too new.

"Thank you." She smiles. His smile turns from gentle, to beaming. It's a loaded thank you, with more behind it than words can convey, and they both know it. It's enough, for now. The regeneration has brought enough chaos, enough drama - they're starting slowly.

He squeezes her hand back. "Any time, Rose Tyler."

He holds her hand for a moment longer and then he's off again, pulling levers and pushing buttons, making it half way around the console before he continues. "So! You remember everything that the dishonourable Lady Cassandra got up to then?" He's grinning, and purposefully not looking directly at her.

"Yeah…" she says cautiously, observing him faux-calculating something on the monitor. She's not sure what he's getting at, but she can see a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "Why?"

"Oh, no reason. Just wondering." He's definitely smirking now, and still concentrating very hard on the screen.

She folds her arms and narrows her eyes when he doesn't elaborate. "What are you playing at, Doctor?"

"Nothing, nothing." He says innocently, rocking back on his heels. Still smirking. " _Well_. Just that I got possessed as well, and I remember too."

She's not sure what he's getting at, but she can see him sneaking looks at her to see if she knows what he's talking about. Suddenly it hits her, and she wants the TARDIS doors to burst open and suck her out into the universe.

" _You've been looking. You_ like _it."_

Her eyes have widened, and now she's the one whose mouth won't close.

With that, he winks at her and is strolling off to the kitchen. "Cuppa tea?"

"Yeah… please," she replies faintly. When he's out of sight, she shakes her head and laughs to herself. "You cheeky bugger."

Some things don't change, whether he's wearing a leather jacket or long brown coat.

 **-Fin-**

 **(a/n) It turned out a little sadder in places then I originally planned, and my inner-narrator was a bit more formal, but I wanted to end on an optimistic note!**


End file.
